This is a special article written by Ken Freeman just for men suffering from a past abortion involvement.
Since long before 1972, abortion has been part of the human landscape. Abortion has always been seen as a major cause of emotional pain for the woman because of the “Choice” to kill her own offspring. Yet, throughout the past 30 years, there has been little said about the impact of abortion upon the male.
Men respond to abortion in different ways. To understand how a man reacts to the loss of his child, we must understand his life motivations. According to a brochure called “Men Hurt Too” men have five instinctive drives or motivations that make up their life: “the ability to procreate, provide, protect, perform, and [enjoy] pleasure.”
- Ability to Procreate – Abortion kills all five fundamental areas. Abortion robs a man of his ability to procreate. Most men value the idea of having offspring of his own flesh to carry on the family name. Abortion eliminates that offspring making void his role as procreator.
- Ability to Provide – Abortion robs a man of his ability to provide. Men who have children spend most of their life earning money for his family. Without a baby, there is no special someone to provide for. Statistically abortion relationships end within months of the abortion. Thus, abortion costs the man the ability to provide for either his son or daughter and often the woman/mother of the baby. Abortion kills the ability to provide.
- Ability to Protect – Abortion robs a man of the ability to protect. When a woman becomes pregnant, she is very vulnerable and in need of protection. Yet, when she makes a choice without his input it destroys his ability to protect. When he pushes her to abort and then suffers the focus of her anger and rage, he realizes that he didn’t protect her. A baby is totally dependent upon the parents. Abortion removes the ability to ever protect for the baby.
- Ability to Perform – Abortion robs the man of the ability to perform. Men spend most of their working life performing for the affirmation and reward of others. A man’s success is commensurate with the level of a man’s performance on the job. However, abortion removes the ability to be successful on the job of bringing his first born or second born or third born to life. It also removes his ability to comfort or encourage the female. Her anger and rage at his selfishness, abandonment, or immaturity in many cases drive his ability to perform to an all time low. Should he marry the woman, it is an observed fact that most men become passive in the relationship.
- Ability to Enjoy – Abortion robs the man’s ability to create and enjoy pleasure. The aftermath of abortion for women lead to post-traumatic stress disorder. Should he remain in her life after the abortion, it is highly unlikely that she will allow him to enjoy anything. Those who have been through the healing process indicate that they suffer from major shame, intimacy, mistrust, rage and anger, fear and sexual problems. Most report depression and feeling of low self-esteem.