Infatuation or Love? The following will help you understand the steps toward intimacy.
- Meet. Flash of interest and initial communication
- Meet again. Call and talk a bit more. Agree to go out.
- Begin becoming friends by sharing common interests, like sports, movies, hiking, etc.
- Meet each other’s family and friends
- Explore each other’s common and different interests. You like jazz but she likes country; you love sports and she doesn’t. However, you are both willing to be open to trying new things.
- Recognize and evaluate each other’s weaknesses and differences on important issues. You procrastinate; she is always late. She wants children but you don’t. These are very serious issues that must be resolved.
- Explore life goals: where do you each want to be in 5 years, 10 years. It is important that there be agreement and unity spiritually as well as in the everyday issues.
- Acknowledge that you want to be together forever. Work through the different areas of disagreement, like finances, children, etc.
- Engagement period. Include premarital counseling. This period usually includes opportunities to deal with pressures as a couple.
Marriage and Sexual Intimacy
Sexual intercourse before marriage will block the development of true intimacy because it becomes the focus of the relationship to the detriment of all other aspects of getting to know each other.